emotions!

Today, according to how doctors calculate timings and due dates, I am at SIX weeks and ONE day into our pregnancy. Although, if we are going to be technical, the reality is that we inseminated on Thursday 11 December 2008 which truly makes today exactly FOUR weeks since the 11th! But who’s counting? Ok, ok, everybody is counting since exam and sonogram dates need to be scheduled not to mention the count down for my first sip of beeeeer ;) seriously, I’m not really that desperate for it – but isn’t it human nature to just always yearn for the things which are forbidden?!

I’ve been sitting here thinking of all the different emotions I’ve felt since the insemination, the positive test results and just knowing (or not knowing as the case may be) of what the future holds!
Some of the emotions I’ve felt (in no particular order):
• Excited – we’re going to have a family – holy sh*t !!!!!
• Anxious – Am I going to be a good parent? Will we be able to provide for the baby and ourselves sufficiently?!
• Curious – How much is this going to change everything?!
• Disbelief – it only hits me in waves that we are going to have a family – it still doesn’t seem real!
• Gratitude – thankful for Emily's love. I know I will continue learn a lot from her.
• Homesick – I realize more and more I want to be closer to our families and close friends as Em and I go through this wonderful event together! We want to share this with everyone
• Wonder – what a miracle this truly is!
• Nervous – but in a good way!
• Happy – Em and I are going to have a family together !! starting a family with the one I love feels great!!

My plan is took look into the midwife thing today! Or at least start it out. It isn’t until around the 10th week that we actually go in for any tests/sonogram with the midwife. Until then I just need to stay healthy, monitor and listen to my body!