Tate is here!

We have a son!

Tate was born at 5:37pm on 15 September after a very long and complicated birth. He weighed 4184 grams which is 9lbs 2oz! Babies don't get their length measured here because the Dutch believe it hurts their newborn hips so we will measure him soon. Jackie and Tate are staying at the hospital until Saturday. I will write a birth story in the next few days. Jackie's labor was an ordeal, I am so proud of her for going through with having a natural childbirth. She was so strong for 17hrs straight starting at midnight - so she was extremely exhausted. Supporting Jackie through birthing Tate was the hardest thing I've ever done. It was a difficult day but today was much better. Jackie is doing well and so is Tate. I love them so much!

Photos will come shortly.

Jackie Pushing It

today jackie is 11 days past estimated due date. jackie's becoming a facebook star!

check out this video from 2 days ago:

Jackie Pushing it from Emily Razzano on Vimeo.

as you can see, jackie's spirits are still high but we remain anxious to meet our little baby!

41 weeks and 2 days....

So, this past Wednesday 9/9/9 we went had our last scheduled appt with one of our midwives. Not much going on other than the fact that I am still pregnant. I'm getting bigger by the minute - well it feels like that anyway. Oh, and I think the Danish gene seems to be prominent in the SIZE department - apparently this little one is looking to be over 8.5lbs. ouch.
With that said, thankfully, it appears things are looking good so there is no need to worry about anything - it's just that our impatience is in full force now! In any case, keep positive thoughts and energies coming our way for a safe and healthy delivery! All we ask is that the baby is healthy.

IF the baby has not arrived by tomorrow (sunday) then the midwife will come over and "strip my membrane". Stripping the membrane will hopefully kick-off the contractions. You can read more about membrane stripping here.

Apparently there is a 70% chance the membrane stripping will start contractions and, therefore, go into labor. If this happens then GREAT - we may have a baby with us later that evening!! If the membrane stripping does NOT work then the midwife comes back over on Tuesday to try again. If that doesn't work then I will be considered a "medical case" and will have to visit the hospital on Thursday to meet with a gynecologist and to be monitored. Then, soon after the monitoring, they will start to induce me (either next Thurs or Friday).

Our midwife suggested I try "induction" acupuncture beforehand to see if this will help. I had that session yesterday and it was really cool but, as you probably figured out by now, I'm still pregnant. The acupuncturist showed Emily some pressure points she can use on me while I am in labor to help ease some of the pain. We'll be practicing that until the big day for sure!

I'm so pregnant and Em and I are so bored that we are trying to find fun things to do with the video camera -- it's all PG rated, don't worry... Just some dancing and moving around!
Here's one example for you for now - stay tuned for more. And God help you all if this baby goes until its 42 week - who knows what we'll be videotaping by then to relieve our boredom and impatience!

40 weeks and 1 day

still waiting. and waiting. and waiting.
I honestly thought our little one would be at least prompt if not early! Apparently Baby Wazz has already taken after Emily's "no sense of urgency" disposition. teehee. Although, I'm not really laughing at this moment

Today I felt very weird. My stomach was not feeling happy at all. I thought it could be contractions but they were occuring at the top of the uterus, not the bottom. These "contractions" also felt like food poisoning cramps not the typical, or apparently typical, menstrual like cramps.
In any case, Em made sure we had everything packed up in the hospital bags just in case. Now these bags continue to wait with us in anticipation of what is to come and to feel useful.

I stayed in bed most of the day with Em taking good care of me and checking up on me regularly. Em is even making my fave cookies right now - snickerdoodles!

Well, not much else to report other than that BabyWazz is enjoying his or her time in my apparently more-than-comfortable womb.

We were hoping today's full moon would have had some sort of effect on initating labor but so far la luna is not cooperating either.

hopefully in the next post or two we'll have some more interesting news!

-j

Hello, Due Date!

Baby Wazz is due TOMORROW!! WOW.

I am so so ready to meet our little son or daughter! I think I've been ready for at least two weeks. Every day gets harder and harder to be patient - I just want to meet this little one. It's hard to sleep with so much excitement ahead.

So 279 days have almost passed since we made the baby. And here we are, ready and waiting for his/her arrival. I know Jackie will be so strong during her labor. I imagine she'll be a birth goddess:-) I am looking forward to supporting her throughout her experience and strengthening our bond through the birth of our baby.

So Baby Wazz, we are ready to meet you! We can't wait for your birth - to see what you look like and to finally hold you - and to learn if you are a girl or boy! Your Mommy will be birthing at home until our midwife says it's time to go to the hospital. If you happen to come out really fast or if your Mommy wants to stay home (and the midwife says it's ok), then we will do that. We wish the best for your birth and hope to see you soon!!

Ten day countdown!

posted by jackie

I can't believe how quickly time has gone by during our pregnancy! Em and I are at the 10 day countdown already! My lack of posting/updating to our blog has been disappointing. I'm a slacker, what can I say...

So, here is my attempt at starting this up again! wish me luck!

Today I had a reflexology session to help possibly induce labor, diminish some of the swelling and work out any kinks necessary. The main reason, however, is to hopefully induce labor. We want our little one to come out when he/she is ready but we are hoping their his/her timeframe coincides with ours, which would be tomorrow ;) Well, OK, we'd be ecstatic if the baby made their debut before September 1 at the very least.

As I was reclined and ready for my reflexology session I had a distinct feeling that the baby is NOT going to come out in the next few days. I didn't say anything to the practitioner though, hoping I was wrong and hoping she could work some magic. Hilda, the reflexology practitioner, asked me several questions about my health before we started. She had such a calming disposition; I felt relaxed immediately.

I watched her carefully as she started intently rubbing my right foot and its toes. I was a bit enchanted by watching her at first - she looked like a musician playing their favorite instrument with passion. I immediately had the impression of a violinist swaying with the notes as she worked her instrument. In this case, it was my toes. I closed my eyes and relaxed as she listened and played her instrument. I felt myself sinking down into the massage bed with each rub of my toes. I don't believe I fell asleep but I was relaxed and comforted to the fullest extent imaginable. I tried to listen to the baby and I attempted to communicate that we can't wait to meet him/her. I said that we want to meet them soon but that they should only come with they are healthy enough to do so.

When Hilda started out on my left foot I felt some little pangs on the right side of my tummy. I'm not sure what it was or what was going on but something she was doing was creating tiny jolts througout the right side of my tummy. I watched Hilda again for a few moments - her expert hands on her instrument; her swaying with each pressure she gave to my foot and toes. The image of a violinist came to mind again.
Hilda continued on and I felt relaxed and comfortable - I think I dozed off for a few minutes. I apparently also had a reaction when she worked on the part of my foot that was related to my minor back pain I've had for the last week or so.

We finished and she noted a few things about the session to me. Hilda said that the baby is not yet ready. She marked down a date she believes the baby will come but she chose not to tell me! boo! Hilda showed me a few points on my hand I can use to help "activate" the baby and a few other presure points I can do at home as needed.

Before I left I told Hilda that I thought she looked like a musician when she was working her reflexology magic. She said, "That's my profession, I am a musician.". I said I envisioned her playing the violin; turns out she plays the viola ;) ha. close enough!

My next appointment is 31 August - that is, if Baby Wazz doesn't come out before then!
Wish us luck!

Visiting Copenhagen

In honor of BabyWazz, we spent a long weekend at the end of May visiting Copenhagen! As you may or may not know, that is where we found our Sperm Donor. Our trip began Friday night (29 May) with a 1hr 5min flight up to Copenhagen. We managed to find the train, get into the city, pick up some Danish Kroners and get settled in our hotel. I already felt so much excitement! Becoming settled seemed grim, our hotel was not so nice so in the morning we searched for a better place to stay. We ended up at the First Skt. Petri which was in a great location! We received an upgraded room with a balcony, inclusive breakfast and two tickets to Tivioli amusement park.


Off we go!

Saturday we planned to walk around the city and go shopping! Along the way, we witnessed a Danish carnival celebration. Near our lunch stop was a temporary art exhibit called 'Signspotting" – we got a kick out of some of the funny signs that actually exist!

"Signspotting" Exhibit "Signspotting" Exhibit">The most famous restaurant for open faced sandwiches, Ida Davidsen, happens to be closed on the weekends so we found a different restaurant to try this typical Danish lunch. We enjoyed our open faced sandwiches but mine was missing the bread!!

Danish Open Faced Sandwich

First Lunch in Copenhagen

We knew it was our only shopping day because the stores are closed on Sunday and Monday was a holiday. Leaving Denmark without any cute Danish baby clothes would be a sin, so we headed to the Stroget, the main shopping street in Copenhagen. We got two sleepers at Name It – oh my gosh these clothes are so cute and I later found out we can find them in the NL!

How could we be in Denmark without having a Danish!?

This one was very good, not too sweet. At the Danish department store, Illum, we found two more sleepers and a nice blanket. I love the bright patterns on the clothes in Denmark! Let me show you the prams in Copenhagen, they are basically cribs on wheels! It is common to see prams outside of stores with or without babies sleeping in them!

Big Danish Prams

After the stores closed we made our way to Nyhavn (pronounced New-Han but sounds more like new-how).

Nyhavn
As we walked to the edge of the harbor, we stopped to take pictures and also found the best ice cream ever!!! Who knew Danish ice cream would be so good?! The ice cream was soft serve vanilla and you could see the vanilla bean specks in the soft serve. We could either have a hard chocolate coating or a cocoa powder on top! During this trip (there were subsequent visits!)

I had the hard chocolate – yum yum yum!

Best Ice Cream Ever! Same Day, Different Ice Cream

And the cone was the best cone I've had!! Freshly made right at the shop. We made some room in our bellies and decided to stay in Nyhavn for dinner. There was a nice little Italian place we both got pasta at and it was pretty good, I think even made with fresh pasta. That night we wandered back to the hotel to relax and fell asleep early.

Sunday morning I woke up at 6:45!! This never happens to me and I was wide awake! So we just got up and tried our inclusive breakfast at the hotel. It was so good, Jackie was extremely happy!!! We had so many choices – yogurt with many toppings, meats, cheeses, fruits, eggs, fresh juice and great coffee! Our plan for the day was to go on a bike tour of the city so we ate a lot and got out of the hotel. We found Mike's Bike Tour by 10am when the tour started.

Mike's Bike Tour

Mike's Bike Tour

There were about 16 people on our tour from various nationalities. The tour was such a good idea to do and we really enjoyed seeing the city by bike because we went to areas we wouldn't have gone to by foot. We saw Hans Christian Andersen's grave and learned he wasn't very well liked among the Danish.

Hans Christian Andersen Gravestone

Talk about popular – the Little Mermaid Statue was the most busy place! Jackie managed to snap a few photos of me alone with the mermaid.

Little Mermaid Statue

There is a real hippie village called Christiania, which we biked through. When our tour ended we found out we biked around for over 3 hours totaling 26km!! The tour ended and we kept our bikes to explore more alone. First we needed some food and stumbled upon a cute café called Café Luna. Guess where we went next? Back to the best ice cream shop!!! I'm telling you, it was so good!!! We had to return our bikes that night by 7pm so we biked a bit more around the city, had a resting break at the hotel, parted with our Danish bikes and then headed to Tivoli amusement park. Jackie and I went on our first ride together! It was a slow one, safe for the baby! We played skeeball, Jackie beat me as usual. Then Jackie got an airbrushed tattoo on her belly of a Virgo sign – totally cute.

Virgo Air Brushed Tattoo

We walked around for a while and then got hungry so we decided to head back towards the hotel. Unfortunately, we thought it was a good idea to eat Mexican in Denmark – I think we found a too touristy place. And that was our Sunday in Copenhagen. I took this photo of the outfits we got for babywazz.

Special Danish Outfits

Monday we went to Sweden! The city is Malmo is only a 40min train ride so off we went after checking out of the hotel and storing our bags. We only had a few hours so we walked the main shopping street and went to a Swedish supermarket where I was so totally distracted! I wanted to look at everything. At least we found some Swedish meatballs and Swedish Fish!

Swedish Fish in Sweden

Swedish Meatballs in Sweden

The stores were similar to Danish style and we found a nice red blanket for the baby as well as the cutest little red sweat suit.

Blanket from Sweden

Before we knew it we had to head back to Denmark to get to the airport in time.
Our trip was meaningful to both of us as we were able to feel connected to a part of where our son or daughter comes from. While we were there, I wrote a note to the baby, telling him/her how happy we are that someone special from Denmark helped us create our family. Baby Wazz, we can't wait to meet you soon and visit Copenhagen with you.

4D Ultrasound

Last Monday we had our 4D ultrasound! We had our two standard 2D ultrasounds and chose to have a special 4D one, which insurance does not cover, because we wanted to see what the baby looks like and what it does in the womb. Babywazz cooperated for about 10 of the 40 minutes, at first s/he was covering its face with a hand and we got this cute image below!

Babywazz in 3D

The sleeping baby then decided to face downwards which made it more difficult to see anything more than the legs, which at one point were above its head! We got 3 leg photos:

Body, Arm and Leg

Baby's Leg

Baby's arm around leg

Jackie asked if the baby has any hair so the technician put the ultrasound on 2D and said "lots of hair!" If you feel so inclined, here is a 10 minute video of the end of our ultrasound for you to watch, inclusive of the baby's hair. The baby's sex is still unknown. I've watched the DVD trying to spot parts because it's fun to guess. Only 10.5 weeks until the baby is due!!

Partner Childbirth Class

Last Wednesday we went to our first class, "Preparing Partners for Childbirth". We are the only two mom couple out of the nine in our class. For a few minutes I did feel a little awkward being the only non pregnant female in the class but my awkwardness subsided once we got settled on our yoga mats. The class is held at a spacious and light studio about 15 mins away by bike. We have two teachers who are pretty well known in Amsterdam for their classes. They talked a lot about childbirth and preparing yourself to be relaxed. A month before our due date, Jackie starts her maternity leave in order to not be distracted by work and to focus on her body. Natural childbirth is the expectation here and I would also say having a homebirth is also expected and encouraged. More recently, hospitals and birth centers are becoming a more frequent choice. Our minds are not made up about where we'll have the birth. We are open to at home or in the birthing center which is next to the hospital. I will support whatever Jackie wants in order to feel comfortable. I found the class to be really empowering for the birthing moms and partners. We participated in some movement exercises alone and with our partners, the excercises are for gaining leg strength. I really have to work on this so that Jackie can put all of her weight on me during labor! At one point, the dads and me had to sit against the wall w/ out partners in our laps and wrap our hands around the pregnant belly. Well, this works a lot better with a mom and dad - I had to stretch so far and was basically hidden behind Jackie! The teachers also talked to us about relationship challenges and we had to sit facing each other and discuss things that we can improve together as a couple. So I'll be really trying to help out around the house so Jackie and rest and grow our babywazz. At the end of the class we learned a partner massage. Jackie sat facing me with her legs over my crossed legs. I put my hands on her belly to feel the energy and then I slowly moved my hands down towards her pelvis, focusing on the energy as I moved down. It was quite the shared intimate moment!! Doing this massage is the number one thing we were told to do because it'll help Jackie relax her muscles and focus on her birth. Our next class is in a month. Jackie starts pregnancy yoga at the same studio when she returns from her biz trip to California - I hope she really enjoys it!

Right now we are 23 w and 2 days. Time to get babywazz's room set up!!

Tummy Tub Owners!

We are going to bathe babywazz in this TU.MMY TUB!!!


Hopefully it'll feel like the womb! I think we'll start with a very small amount of water and see how the baby feels. It looks warm and cozy to me.

The T.oday Show did a segment about the Tummy Tub last week (after we bought ours!) and the babies appeared to really enjoy their tubs.

Since we don't have a bathtub, we've been checking out our tub options here. We'll also get a regular bathing tub but for 18 euros we just had to try the T.ummy Tub!! It was designed here in the Netherlands.

It it a super cool bathing bucket and babywazz will show you later how fun it is!

It's a ______!

By Emily

It's a SURPRISE! We decided we want to wait until the baby is born to find out if we have a son or daughter.

Our ultrasound was last week and everything looks great with the baby's growth. We are so thrilled! I took a few videos of the ultrasound and have been quite obsessed with trying to figure out if we have a boy or girl. We had a (highlight if you want to know what we think)girlvibe before the ultrasound and we still do. You really never know though and it's part of the fun!!

We both were on a baby high right after the echo and for a few days after. Seeing our little baby was so real.

We just got back from our 5 minute midwife appointment. Jackie's placenta is in the front which means she will not feel the baby kick as strong or as soon. Typically the placenta is to the side or on the top so women can feel the kicks better. Our midwife said it's totally not an issue so we are relieved. As for the 5 minute appointment, I have nothing to compare to so it seems normal to me. How long is a 20 week midwife or OB appointment in the states? Jackie's blood pressure is fine, her uterus is growing with the baby and that all means everything is progressing.. We go back in 4 weeks.

Now for some fun!!

BabyWazz's profile.


Check out the baby's profile in action!
(Upon request, I can share more videos)


I am getting so excited!!

Legal Mother

By Emily

We just got back from our first meeting with our family lawyer. The meeting was very helpful! We found out that I can start the adoption process right now!! The laws have in fact changed and I do not have to wait a year to begin the process. Our lawyer is going to mail us a letter detailing what we have to collect in terms of legal documents (birth certificates, Dutch partnership papers, etc). Everything is presented to the court who decides if my adoption of the baby is approved. The lawyer was optimistic about the outcome. After 3 months and 1 day, I am able to adopt! This means that I could adopt babywazz on his/her birthday!! I actually have 3 days to "register" the baby with the Dutch government at which point hopefully my name will also be written on the birth certificate. Very good news!!! It will mean a lot to us to be protected as a family unit.

The one downside is the cost associated with this adoption. I am so so so thankful I can actually adopt babywazz but it really isn't fair that same-sex couples have to spend extra money to have the same family benefits as any other loving family. It's what we have to do though in order for me to also be a mother and I am happy it is possible.

Our 20 week ultrasound is tomorrow night! Will we find out or not?

Adopting BabyWazz

By Emily

Figuring out the laws in the Netherlands regarding second parent adoption has been a slight struggle. The most recent info I found stated that I would be able to adopt babywazz after living with Jackie for three years and living with the baby for one. The laws are not fair even in the Netherlands where same sex couples are given many more legal rights than in other countries. If I was Jackie's boyfriend, I could adopt the baby right away, even if I wasn't the baby daddy. It totally doesn't make sense!! Through some friend networking I was able to find another same sex couple who has a little baby and they are going through their adoption right now. I found out that as of 1 January 09, the rules changed and I can adopt babywazz right away (it still takes at least 3 months though)!!!! The laws are becoming equal:-) We have an appointment in 2 weeks with a family lawyer who is going to help give us the real scoop on the process and laws. It would mean so much to me to have my name on babywazz's birth certificate from the start - just like it should be.

My Tummy Is All A Flutter!

So the last day or two I've been feeling funny fluttery/bubbly sensations on the left side of my tummy. At first I thought it was gas. Not a stretch of the imagination by any means... However, this sensation is something new - I've concluded it must by the little bugger making his/her presence known (probably by bouts of flatulence).
It's actually really amazing to know that the little avocado-sized bud is squirming around in there! I can't wait to feel it bounce and kick around more and more! I mostly can't wait for Em to put her hand on my tummy and feel a good solid kick or head butt! My little football (soccer) player in action... ;)

So, Em and I are also bouncing around too ... about finding out the sex of the baby! Our next echo (aka ultrasound) is on April 15 - we can find out then but aaaah! what do we do?! On the one hand, we will have a better idea of what we want to do with the soon-to-be baby room and buying clothes/styles if we find out! We're not into all the blue and pink stuff fully but there is only so much green, yellow and orange you can have to be gender neutral too. On the other hand, this is the biggest surprise out there - there are few surprises in the world these days so it makes sense to wait till the little bugger pops out in all its glory. Oh what to do?! Also, narrowing down the name is a good reason to find out the sex. or not. OOOH BOY (or girl!) what to do?!
Time will tell... literally.

What we are sure about is that we are getting more and more excited everyday for our little one! It's still unbelievable... but my growing stomach and gassy fetus is letting me know it's all real! I love it! I really think I love being pregnant! :)
-Jackie

Joining the Blogger World

By Emily

We are about to "go live" with our blog!! By 'live' I mean that we are going to share with our friends and family as well as be linked via an LGBT parenting site (Thanks Liza!) Up until now, we haven't really shared our blog with anyone. I'm excited for people to read what we have to write. So far we have documented our conception story, followed by the good news. We will continue to add our thoughts as we experience our Expat Pregnancy in Amsterdam!!!

Thanks for reading, we hope you enjoy!!

Inititals on the Beach

By Emily

Last week we were in Florida with my family, a hopeful tradition in the making. Jackie and I took a walk along the beach one day and I drew our initials in the sand. I then added '+ baby' and took a photo. This photo seemed like the perfect way to share our news on Faceb.ook. We'd already passed the 1st Trimester and we wanted to tell our friends and family before going live with our news online. By the time I took this photo, it was a good time to let our news be public. This image of our inititals went up on FB and was followed by almost 30 comments. It is really nice to have the support and congrats from our friends.



And here is a photo of Jackie's growing belly. Isn't she so cute?!

I see a face!

By Emily

The other night I was staring at the ultrasound pics below and all of a sudden an image of a face popped out at me in the 2nd image. To me, it looks just like my dad!! Look at babywazz's head and you'll see a white line that looks like a smile and above that a nose and eyes!! It totally freaked me out but in a strange way I felt like perhaps there is part of me already in our baby.

We're cruising along in the 15th week. Jackie officially can't fit into her jeans and wears her maternity jeans which I think are quite flattering on her!

First Photos

We had our first ultrasound yesterday! As you can see from the photos, we have a little baby growing in Jackie's womb. WOW. Our little wazzbaby is about 5cm. Everything seems a bit more real now that we heard a heartbeat and saw our baby jumping! We can't wait to meet this little guy/girl in 6+ months!!




On another note: Happy Birthday to Kennedy who was born last night to my friend Julie and her son Parker!! Quite a night of firsts!

Figs

By Emily

Jackie loves figs. Littlewazz is the size of a fig. Next Wednesday, we get to check out the little fig at our first echo. I cannot wait!

Hands Off

By Emily

Our first midwife appointment was a few weeks ago and it went well. We met one midwife who works in a team of four. We'll get to know two better and eventually meet all four and then at the birth we get whoever is on call. Assuming we like all the midwives, this shouldn't be a problem. At the appointment we discussed Jackie's medical history and answered some questions. The midwife took Jackie's blood pressure and that was the only medical thing that happened. She didn't even look or touch Jackie's belly/body! The Dutch system appears to be quite hands-off which is taking some getting used to. It does lend itself for me being more involved in Jackie's birth which I am seeing as a wonderful thing!

Last week Jackie had to give blood. SEVEN whole vials!! I went with her to the lab and surprisingly I felt ill and got sweaty from watching!! We don't know the results until mid March when we go back to the midwife and they are just testing for routine stuff.

Our next appointment is our first ultrasound on 18 Feb!! We are looking forward to actually seeing our little baby and hopefully hearing its heartbeat. I have to mention that J's belly is already showing and she's only 10weeks 3days - I keep telling her she has twins in there! Or just a giant viking baby:-)

Obama's Inauguration

By Emily

Today Obama was inaugurated as our 44th president! What a historical day! I couldn't help wish I was in DC today as I watched the events unfold on tv. Obama's speech was incredibly moving and I finally feel optimistic about the future of the USA.

Geboortecentrum

By Emily

A week from today we have our first midwife appointment!! Our ex neighbors and friends recommended a place called the Geboortecentrum (Birth Center). It's a less than 10 min bike ride from our home! The area is called the Birth Street because there is a baby store, toy store, birth course center, birth center and more - all in a super cute Amsterdam neighborhood. I'm really looking forward to our appointment, we'll be talking with our midwife for about an hour and I hope we get an ultrasound so we can see our little wazzberry! (BTW, our term wazz comes from combining parts of our lasts names.) I'm curious also about learning more personally about Dutch midwives and having a baby in the Netherlands. I have a feeling our experience here is going to spoil us should we ever have a baby in the USA!

BFP

By Emily

Here are some photos of our Big Fat Positive.


Verification on Dutch digital HPT a few days later!

How we made our baby

December 11, 2008 was the big day!

Our huisarts' (GP) office.












We were surprised to see the size of the "dry shipper"! The tank is refrigerated with liquid nitrogen and surrounded by spongy material to prevent spillage.













The donor straw is held in a tube which is clipped to a metal support rod. The tube facilitates removing the straw from the 10 kilo tank. It was freezing!!










Here is the straw with our donor sperm! We could not believe such a small amount of sperm could make a baby!









Swim spermies swim!!









And that is how we made our baby on the Bloemgracht!!

emotions!

Today, according to how doctors calculate timings and due dates, I am at SIX weeks and ONE day into our pregnancy. Although, if we are going to be technical, the reality is that we inseminated on Thursday 11 December 2008 which truly makes today exactly FOUR weeks since the 11th! But who’s counting? Ok, ok, everybody is counting since exam and sonogram dates need to be scheduled not to mention the count down for my first sip of beeeeer ;) seriously, I’m not really that desperate for it – but isn’t it human nature to just always yearn for the things which are forbidden?!

I’ve been sitting here thinking of all the different emotions I’ve felt since the insemination, the positive test results and just knowing (or not knowing as the case may be) of what the future holds!
Some of the emotions I’ve felt (in no particular order):
• Excited – we’re going to have a family – holy sh*t !!!!!
• Anxious – Am I going to be a good parent? Will we be able to provide for the baby and ourselves sufficiently?!
• Curious – How much is this going to change everything?!
• Disbelief – it only hits me in waves that we are going to have a family – it still doesn’t seem real!
• Gratitude – thankful for Emily's love. I know I will continue learn a lot from her.
• Homesick – I realize more and more I want to be closer to our families and close friends as Em and I go through this wonderful event together! We want to share this with everyone
• Wonder – what a miracle this truly is!
• Nervous – but in a good way!
• Happy – Em and I are going to have a family together !! starting a family with the one I love feels great!!

My plan is took look into the midwife thing today! Or at least start it out. It isn’t until around the 10th week that we actually go in for any tests/sonogram with the midwife. Until then I just need to stay healthy, monitor and listen to my body!

huisarts...

Today Em and I went to our Huisarts (GP) to tell her the good news and to confirm that there is in fact a little bud developing in my belly!
We pretty much expected Dr H to be happily bewildered that the insemination worked; we sure as hell were!

Initially Dr H’s intern saw us first. She was shocked to hear that I am preggers; apparently Dr H relayed the insemination process to her and therefore likely expressed the slight chance of this actually working. I mentioned that I took five pregnancy test – all of which proclaimed a Big Fat Positive – but we set up the appt to confirm the pregnancy with a blood test cuz that's what they do in the US. Even if I took 100 tests in the US and knew in my heart that I’m pregnant they’d still require and order a blood test to confirm. Well, we def are not in Kansas anymore… but honestly the practicality of the Dutch medical system makes sense to me, at least in this case. Five positive tests, period is 10 days late, my boobs are tender (and bigger) and my skin is changing – this should understandably be evidence enough – which it is here in NL.
The intern said we just need to call up a midwife and let them know I’m preggers and let them do their thing. The intern asked a few questions and took out her little dial chart which calculated my due date to be Sept 3 2009! I also got a little Dutch booklet entitled “Zwanger”. Yep, I’m zwanger! I still can’t believe it!!!!!!!

Finally, Dr H appeared in the room and I just held up the booklet and her eyes widened with mouth agape… and then… “NEEEE!!!”….
She couldn’t believe it!! She was utterly surprised! Dr H recalled the “struggle” to get the darn sperm out of the straw and the difficult attempts to get the sperm as close to the cervix as possible. This definitely was not an easy process when you 1) have a doctor who hadn’t really done this before and 2) do not have the right insemination equipment on-hand. It was truly a miracle it worked. period. Or in my case, no period.

Then Dr H went on to tell us that while she was inseminating she concluded I was at the most fertile phase; I won’t go into detail here about how she concluded this but let’s just say two of the five senses were at play here.

So, I apparently cannot/should not have vitamin A as this may cause birth defects. I cannot/should not eat raw/undercooked meats or unpasteurized cheese. If I eat seafood it must be fresh – not because of birth defects but just because it can make me sick. I must continue taking my folic acid. Dr H said I am “not eating for two”. I was bummed about that because it’s such a great excuse to pig out and order three desserts. Oh well. I’m still gonna use that excuse…. Shhh.

Now onto the midwife search! I’d preferably like a midwife that subscribes to the theory that beer drinking is good for pregnancy. However, I think this will unlikely happen and I will have to wait at least another 30-35 weeks before my hands caress and lips touch the full bodied glass of the luscious liquid love of my life...

well, on that note, I am hoping and praying for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby - once we get passed the first trimester we will start telling people the happy news! keep your fingers crossed for us!
j.